a smashing good time

Ah, mammograms. I had two back in 2001-2002, pre- and post-op. Then came the babies and the breastfeeding, and a reprieve. When my OB discovered my 40th birthday came and went without another peek at the girls I was given strict orders to schedule one 3 months after Eleanor weaned. This is one of the few areas I do exactly as I am told.

Back before the first mammogram I expressed some concern about the procedure to my primary care doc. He responded by telling me about his colonoscopy. I guess if you are a man, these are analogous (no pun intended). Having had very recent experience with both, I can tell you they are not in any way, shape, or form the least bit similar.

The mammogram today was a lot quicker than I remember. Wedge, smash, hold your breath, breath. Repeat on the other side. Then assume "the pose", which seems to mean "turn yourself into a corkscrew with one relaxed shoulder", smash, hold your breath, breath. Repeat on the other side. It took a while, but I figured out the difference.

Past mammograms I have had involved all of this, followed by another wait, then doing some more smashing, then more waiting, rinse and repeat. It seems those were diagnostic mammograms. Today's adventure was a screening mammogram. The big difference is nobody looked at the results while I was there, so if they need to take another look I will need to take another few hours off work and spend a lot more time watching Ellen in the waiting room. Fun!

I get to call for results next week, and I'll be hoping all is well and I don't have to go back and do it all again.